BeYOUtiful Image Consulting Blog Post

The Little Black Dress of Faith

beyoutifulimageconsulting@gmail.com (Holly Gort) — Mon, 31 Jul 2023 16:37:56 GMT

The wisdom from above is first of all pure. (James 3:17a, NLT)

All throughout the Bible, we see that wisdom is the real deal when it comes to spiritual must-haves. I like to think of it as the little black dress of faith. An essential must-have for every Christian woman to possess and wear. And surely one that we all look good in!

But in today’s world, it can be tricky to make wise decisions and choices. We’re surrounded by foolish and conflicting messages. Messages that oppose the wisdom of God as revealed in Scripture. We get hit from all sides with opinions, posts, and tweets about what people have and want and do—and about what people think is right and wrong.

They write it on signs and walk picket lines in an attempt to sway us in their direction.

They Instagram it, pin it on Pinterest, send e-petitions to our in-boxes, and blog about it.

And then there’s the media that screams like a colicky baby, demanding that we take note of the angle that they are trying to sell as acceptable behavior.

One thing’s for sure, there’s a wide difference between the wisdom of God and the wisdom of the world. When I say wide, I mean Grand Canyon wide. I mean the distance-between-the-east-coast-of-America-and-the-west-coast-of-Europe wide!

Here’s what James had to say about godly wisdom:

The wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.” (James 3:17 NLT)

Does that sound like the world to you? Pure? Peace loving? Gentle? Willing to yield? Full of mercy and good deeds? Fair and sincere? I think not.

Keeping these truths in mind helps me as a friend. When I’m tempted to vent my frustration about that other person, God’s wisdom reminds me to be a woman of peace.

It helps me as a Jesus follower. When I’m tempted to read a book or watch a movie that is fifty shades of compromise, God’s wisdom reminds me that I’m to be a holy, pure vessel for Him.

Here’s a refreshing truth: When the world shouts its ways that are contrary to the wisdom of God, I have a choice. I really do. I might not feel like it, but I do. I get to choose my response even when the pressures of political correctness squeeze hard. Even in my workplace. Those pressures are indicators that I need to address the issue and not run from it or cave in to it.

My behavior is my choice, no one else’s.

And I want my choices to align with the ageless wisdom of the all-knowing God.

So I choose to put on my little black dress of faith.

And some cute shoes, of course!

Lord,
I want Your wisdom. Please direct my choices, my behaviors, and my heart. Forgive me for the times when I look to others or to myself when I should be looking to You.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Click to read the full article

Don't try to change it, honor it!

beyoutifulimageconsulting@gmail.com (Holly Gort) — Mon, 23 Jan 2023 20:10:34 GMT

Honoring your body shape.

I had a lovely weekend of learning and growing through virtual videos from some Christian Image Consultants at a Stylist convention. Each woman spoke about a specific topic of choice that had to do with beauty, fashion, and faith. Which is the basis of what we do as CIC's (Christian Image Consultants); to teach women fashion and beauty tips and tricks to help them be encouraged and feel confident in the body God had gifted them.

One of the messages I heard from my fellow CIC, Kim Nowlin, was about 'honoring your body shape'. This kinda blew my mind! She talked about how we were all created with a specific body shape and instead of critiquing it, how about he honor it instead!?! Crazy, right?!?

Doesn't that change how you think about yourself? If you were self conscious of a particular area of your body, what if you wore items that fit YOUR shape and HONORED it?!? This could be a game changer, ladies!!!

Whether you have a larger bust, a fuller waist, wider hips; simply finding the right styles that accentuate and flatter you so much, it will eventually shift your thought process from, "Ugh, I don't like my _________! Getting dressed is no fun." to "I feel so amazing! I'm excited to get dressed every day."

So whatever shape you are, can I challenge you to start making this mental shift? Begin by stopping the negative self talk and thoughts in their tracks! When you find yourself wanting to pick yourself apart, STOP and think about this verse from 1 Timothy 4:4, Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it but receive it with thanks. NLT

We were created in His image. How dare we say we don't accept it and deny it?!? Let's remember this and go forward with honoring thoughts about ourselves and then tackle each new day, armed with the power of the Holy Spirit, so we can shine His light onto others.

Love Amy

Have you ever been Redeemed?

beyoutifulimageconsulting@gmail.com (Holly Gort) — Mon, 16 Jan 2023 17:49:57 GMT

Let's start from the beginning....

I love my job as the owner of BeYOUtiful Image Consulting. BUT GOD wasn't and isn't done with me... During a closet consultation any clothes that a client is ready to part with gets donated. The idea was hatched to help young ladies with these items of clothing. I connected with Grace's Table who helps and encourages teen moms, equips them and walks alongside them as they move towards their full potential as adults. These mama's need clothes for job interviews, special events and everyday life! Along with Grace's Table, BeYOUtiful put on a boutique type event where the mama's were able to get their color code analysis completed and were able to "shop" for clothes with all the donations. The look on these young girls' faces was priceless!

I had hoped to bless each girl with 2-3 outfits, when most left with a bag overflowing with clothes, shoes, jackets and accessories.

The evenings we held the boutique shopping event, the volunteers from Grace's Table and Lima United by Love started talking about the next shopping event and how we could tweak a few things to make it flow better. A friend brought up the idea of making this a mobile ministry.....

And then the hunt began for a trailer.....

We found one! It took a little elbow grease and hard work but it's almost complete and we are SO excited!

I think God looks at each one of us that way. We each have some bumps and bruises from life, maybe some dirt we try to keep hidden. He wasn't afraid of the hard work of the cross to save YOU. He looks past all of that and sees the heart and He loves YOU! Isaiah 43:1 ~ Fear not, for I have REDEEMED you; have called you by name, YOU ARE MINE.

This is the beginning of the Redeemed Mobile Boutique! Our purpose will be connecting with organizations that help teen moms, human trafficking survivors, etc. to give them a color analysis, boutique experience which will help with confidence to prepare for interviews, special events and everyday life.

How can YOU make a difference?
✨Go follow Redeemed Mobile Boutique via Instagram and Facebook.

✨Donate via Venmo ~ Redeemed@byBeYOUtiful

✨ Details to come about our launch event with Build Up Women Grand Rapids on May 4 at Venue3Two.

Love Holly!

We Stopped Going House to House for the Holidays. Here's Why.... Written by Lindsey Maestas a favorite Blogger of Lisa's

Mon, 05 Dec 2022 17:16:23 GMT

When we were first married, the holidays were a really stressful time for us. We went to 5 different Christmases at 5 different houses.

We wanted to spend as much time as we could with our family, and we didn’t want to disappoint anyone, so we made it happen.

We were trying our best, but as soon we had to leave somewhere, there was always at least one comment that made us feel guilty.

We knew that they intended well, and we truly are thankful that our family loves us enough to want us around.

But we would still leave the house feeling so discouraged because, in reality, Jesse and I had spent absolutely no time alone together; we were simply trying to accommodate everyone else.

Then we hit a turning point.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. Our son Sutton was 1 1/2 years old and we rushed home a ridiculous number of times to pick up food and gifts to take to the next house. And then the next house. And then the next.

Jesse decided on our final trip home that night that he pretty much despised the holidays and it made me so sad. He had always loved and looked forward to them when we were dating.

We were stressed out with each other and far from ‘merry.’

And honestly, that day had looked so much different than what I had dreamt of time and time again as I imagined celebrating my son’s first real Christmas.

When we finally came home for the night, it was completely dark. Sutton’s toys were piled up, untouched, in the corner. He didn’t get to open or play with anything that day and he was passed out by the time we got home.

Our house was a disaster because I had rushed to cook and bake everything for each house and didn’t have time to clean before we left.

We also spent an inordinate amount of money on 19 kids, 10 siblings and 3 White Elephant parties.

We were completely exhausted, frazzled and frustrated.

It was in that moment when we both realized that, although we both desperately love our families, we are our own family now. We have to set healthy boundaries in order to invest in and nurture this little family we have created – even during the holidays.

Jesse and I have always clung to this verse in our marriage, but somehow forgot to implement it into the holiday season: “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Gen. 2:24

We are our own family now.

And while it is absolutely crucial for me to teach Sutton that Christmas is about Jesus and loving and serving others, I also don’t want to create strife or forfeit our family principles to people-please or to simply fulfill society’s standard of what Christmas is supposed to look like.

We love being generous and we love giving gifts. It is one of our favorite things to do as a family. I love making all of the holiday food (like our famous cranberry jalapeno dip! )

We also absolutely adore spending time with our families, and we look forward to a time of relaxation with them every single year.

But, you guys, when we spread ourselves so thin, neither we, nor our families, actually get that relaxation. We are so busy and exhausted that they actually get very little of our energy or attention.

Every family is different, and every family has unique boundaries. In our family, we personally still do our best to see everyone because we really do love it.

However, now, we have split the days up. The timespan spent at each home is shorter and we don’t allow guilt to consume us if we can’t make it somewhere.

Sweet friends, I want you to consider this.

When you exceed your budget by hundreds of dollars, simply to fulfill America’s expectation of giving a gift to everyone in your family (which they will likely take to Goodwill in 6 months), you are forfeiting your boundaries and possibly making an unwise financial decision for your own little fa mily.

When you and your spouse are at one another’s throats because you have to put on a false smile for your in-laws who you swear have it out for you, you are sacrificing the health of the one you were intended to cling to for the family that you were intended to separate from after you said, ‘I do.’

Here’s what I’m not saying:

I’m not saying that you should say ‘no’ to everything and everyone. Scripture reminds us that those who are faithful in very little are also faithful with much.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t buy gifts. We are called to be generous with the money that we have because ultimatel y it is God’s, not ours. I don’t necessarily equate that verse to giving gifts on Christmas, but I do think there is something special about the joy that comes from placing presents under the tree for those we love.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t make small sacrifices to spend time with your husband’s family or that he shouldn’t spend time with yours.

Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

It is important to place your spouse’s needs above your own and to place other people (even extended family) above your own needs as well. Our reward for doing so may not ever come on this earth, but they will be waiting for us in heaven.

I encourage you to love your extended family so well throughout the entire year that the holidays aren’t a question of whether or not your family is important to you, simply because you can’t attend one Thanksgiving dinner.

Here’s the thing: Jesus has given YOU freedom. Even on the holidays.

This year, let us leave behind the obligation and lie that we need to be all things to all people.

Instead, let’s focus on honoring God with our lives while clinging to our own little families during the holiday season.

Slow down. Go to church or make a cup of hot cocoa and enjoy the day inside with your little family. Simply do your best to lo ve and serve those around you without allowing pressure or obligation to consume you.

And most importantly, spread true joy and the love of Jesus with those you come across. It might even be a lot easier this time around because you’ll be rested enough to do so.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone!

Be - YOU - tiful!

beyoutifulimageconsulting@gmail.com (Holly Gort) — Wed, 09 Nov 2022 18:19:48 GMT

Be YOU! You're beautiful when you decide to be yourself

Life is too short not to love the way God made YOU!

Great "feel good" saying, right?!

But what does that mean when it comes to - getting dressed and feeling confident?

Sometimes when I do a consultation for BeYOUtiful it feels like I'm giving a lot of "rules" to follow. Secretly.... (shhhh) I like to break the rules from time to time.

Are there colors outside of my best 36 swatches cards that I still feel like - YES! Oh, mustard yellow, you're so hard to break up with!

Are there styles that I like that aren't the most flattering for my body shape - Yep!

And Star Status - as a Movie Star status, I should stay in the medium range of accessories, prints and handbags but my Style Personality is screaming, "go big or go home girly!"

BeYOUtiful wants you to feel confident in who God made you to be!

Sometimes we just need that one girlfriend aka BeYOUtiful Image Consulting to step in and give you an honest, love delivered, "let us help you with confidence and style".

If you're wondering what "Body Shape, Star Status, Style Personality" means.... we can help with a Consultation! Receiving or giving a Gift Certificate from us is a great Christmas gift. We can do gift certificates in any amount or for any service. Just email us and we'll get it set up for you. If you'd like to add a candle and an ornament with the gift certificate, it's an additional $20. Email us at beyoutifulimageconsulting@gmail.com .

www.beyoutifulimageconsulting.com

Just be you.....

Mon, 10 Oct 2022 16:59:56 GMT

Just be you...

If you know, you know-you're the girl like me trying to figure out what on earth you did to get yourself uninvited. You know.......that party you know about where everyone was invited-but you.

You’d think by now, in my 50’s, it would be a non-issue, it’s so middle school and high school. I’ve sat here a good portion of the night trying to figure out what I’ve done wrong. How on earth did I not get an invite to the party? Surely it must have gotten lost in the mail.

I think perhaps I’ve placed my own expectations and hopes on someone else, that isn’t fair and that’s just kinda where the uninvited story ends. Not everyone is meant for me, or I for them.

Writing is therapeutic for me, it calms me, it is never meant to hurt anyone – more a way for me to offer perspective. I have to believe that somewhere along my short life I have hurt someone’s feelings in the very same way, for that I am sorry.

I cannot help but be reminded that I have been incredibly blessed a million times over by a lot of beautiful humans, some short term and some lifelong friends. Perhaps this is a reminder that we shouldn’t try and find our worth and value in people. Allowing others to dictate or drive how you live, feel and breath is unhealthy. God designed us all in His image and I am simply not for everyone, that is ok.

Let’s all agree to do our best to love people, however that looks for you. He gives us the right people at just the right time to journey through this life with.

Peace.

~Written by Stacey, a friend of Lisa's

Here are some words of encouragement when you are trying to figure out who you are.

This hangs in my daughter's bathroom as a reminder. ~ Holly

I am who Christ says I am.

I take every thought captive. I break every agreement that sets itself up against the knowledge of God.

MY purpose is to love, serve, glorify and enjoy God forever.

I am filled with the Holy Spirit. The same power that resurrected Christ from the dead lives in ME.

I am God's BELOVED CHILD in whom he is well pleased. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, beautiful beyond measure.

The power of God guards my thoughts, the Word of God guides my steps, and the favor of God rests on me.

Worry is NOT my boss. I trust in the Lord with ALL my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways I will acknowledge him, and he will make my paths straight.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He RESTORES my soul. God is my strength, my shield. He's always with me, always for me, always sees me. No weapon formed against me will prosper.

I am anointed, empowered and called to reach people for from God.

My words have power. I will look for every opportunity to speak life, show compassion, and bring out the best in others.

Shame is NOT my master. God's power is perfected n my vulnerability.

I REFUSE to be held hostage by unforgiveness. I will forgive seventy times seven and beyond because I AM FORGIVEN.

I am an OVERCOMER. I refuse to bow my knee to the accuser, listen to the voids of adversary, or flinch in the face of adversity.

God works all things together for my good and his glory.

I will look for the character and competence of God in every situation.

I am on God's offensive team today.

Jesus is King of my life.

~Author unknown

UPCOMING EVENTS FOR YOU

Color Workshop

October 13, 6:30-8:30pm or October 15, 4:00-8:00pm

Holly Gort with BeYOUtiful and Melissa Petrolje with Beauty Mark Salon coming together to teach you:

· Your Color Code (do you look good in black?)

· Bra fitting (80% of women wear the wrong size) Are you?

· 10 must have staples in your closet

· Eyebrow shaping

· Mini Makeup lesson

· Full make up application

And you receive FREE GIFTS!! All this for $125. Email us at beyoutifulimageconsulting@gmail.com to reserve your spot

Color Analysis and Bra Fitting

Tuesday, October 18, 4:30-6:30pm at Tanger Outlet, meet at the Hanes store.

Receive a Color Analysis—Learn your 36 best colors~$50

Bra Fitting—80% of women are wearing the wrong size. Are you? Let’s support the girls! ~ $35

*Can choose if you’d like to have both services or just one. Must email or call to reserve a spot. 1/2 hour time slots are available.

616-209-7225 ~ beyoutifulimageconsulting@gmail.com

The Disney Princess with ARMOR

beyoutifulimageconsulting@gmail.com (Holly Gort) — Fri, 23 Sep 2022 15:33:58 GMT

How many of you grew up
watching Disney princess movies?
Which one was your favorite?
I always wanted to sing like Ariel

In the early movies like Snow White, Cinderella -
A man had to come and rescue her from something, right?

Cinderella even had little animals come and help her clean the house - I mean, I'd take that any day!

But in the later princess movies, whoever writes these flicks, finally understands that us princesses aren't damsels in distress all the time.

We put on our armor when we need to go slay our dragons.

What does it all boil down to?
We are a mix of both right?
We are ALL princesses in need of saving and we receive that from
ONE man - Jesus Christ.

We are HIS daughters - Daughters of the King!

And we as princesses need to put on the armor EVERY day
even when it's hard!

Ephesians 2:10
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

How to Stop Being Our Own Worst Critic

Fri, 27 May 2022 16:51:00 GMT

This blog post is from Stephanie May Wilson an awesome blogger and podcaster. Give her a follow.

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 10:5

There are seasons in life when I just cannot give myself a break . Do you ever have times like that? Every moment, every glance in the mirror, every action is a reminder of all the ways I fall short — of all the things I could be, could do, and ways I could look but don’t.

I think things like, “You really should go to the gym more. You are really looking gross these days. Of course you failed, you always do. Could you possibly be more annoying?”

I make a simple mistake like forgetting to bring my lunch, and my thoughts are entirely unforgiving. “You always do stuff like this! You are so forgetful and irresponsible! You can just be hungry until we get home. That’ll teach you to remember things next time!”

I crack down on myself hard. I think that if I am just a little bit meaner, just a little bit harsher, if I just raise the bar a little bit, I’ll be motivated enough to leap over it. I’ll meet the sky-high expectations I have for myself and stop being such a disappointment.

For years, more years than I can count, this is how I’ve talked to myself. I’ve been my own worst critic. I’ve criticized my body, and my mind, and my actions, and my skills. I’ve held myself up to my friends, and coworkers, and women I’ve never even met. “Why can’t you be more like her?” I’d ask myself. “You have got to get it together!”

As I say these words out loud to you, I feel like I’m peeking out from a dark corner. Anyone else? Does anyone else do this? Is it just me?

It feels totally vulnerable to admit to these thoughts. Mostly because I feel like I’m way too nice of a person to say things like this, and that’s true! I would never talk to someone else like this! I have all the grace in the world for other people — they’re human, they’re in process, they’re doing the best they can.

But I am the exception, the lucky winner that gets to be the object and source of all of my disdain, and it wasn’t until a girlfriend of mine uttered one simple sentence that I realized how ludicrous this whole thing really is.

We were getting ready to go to dinner, when I peered into the mirror and let one of my thoughts accidentally slip out. “I can’t believe I let myself gain so much weight. Seriously, I’m so big, I look terrible, and the worst part is that it’s my fault! If I was just more disciplined and not so lazy, I wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.”

Mean, right? I still can’t believe I said it out loud, but I’m so glad I did, because my friend didn’t skip a beat. She didn’t ask for clarification or sweep it cleanly under the rug. She turned to me with glowering eyes and snapped, “Don’t talk about my friend that way.”

I was instantly both so embarrassed I could disappear and so grateful I could cry. I felt caught red-handed, and heroically defended all at once. I was the attacker and the victim. She was coming to my defense, ready to fight the one who was hurting my feelings, knowing full well that the assailant was me.

As we drove to dinner, we talked about the way we all talk to ourselves sometimes. “We think we get a free pass to be cruel because we’re being cruel to ourselves. But we don’t get a free pass to treat anyone that way, and we shouldn’t have to put up with treatment like that from anyone, especially not ourselves.”

She was right. Of course she was right. And her words have stuck with me ever since.

There are enough naysayers in the world, and the more I’ve thought about this, I’ve realized that I don’t want to be another one.

At least we can get away from the naysayers, but we’re stuck with ourselves. If we’re our own worst critic, we’re stuck with our own worst critic right there in our ear. Every time we brush our teeth, every time we take a chance at work, every time we fall asleep, she’s there, telling us we’re not good enough, that we should be different or that we’re a disappointment.

And I’ve just decided I don’t want to play that game anymore.

Life is far too hard, and far too short to be our own worst critics, and it never seems to help us get better anyway. Good things don’t come out of shame; good things come out of kindness, support, and encouragement.

So these days, I try to talk to myself the way I would a friend:

“Good job, sweet girl.”

“You tried, and that’s really saying something.”

“You are beautiful.”

“I’m so proud of you.”

Maybe you are never your own worst critic, and if that’s true, I want to give you a hug and a high five and ask you to teach us all of your ways. But if you are, if the thoughts in your head speak to you this way sometimes, let me grab them by their collar, look them straight in the eye, and say, “Don’t talk about my friend that way!” You don’t deserve to be treated that way, not even by yourself.

Take some time this week to start paying a bit more attention to your thoughts. What kinds of things are you saying to yourself throughout the day? Are you your own worst critic, or do you talk to yourself like a friend? Let’s start paying a bit more attention, and start making intentional choices with our thoughts. Let’s start talking to ourselves the way we would a friend.

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From the BeYOUtiful team: Take comfort in knowing that we are all imperfect and please, PLEASE don't let any little imperfection or mistake stop you from loving who you are! As Image Consultants our job is to help you embrace yourself, your body and build your confidence in the way God made you. If you'd like that boost in confidence, we'd love to serve you . www.beyoutifulimageconsulting.com or email us at beyoutifulimageconsulting@gmail.com

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P.S. If you’re needing even more encouragement in this area, check out this podcast episode: Girls Night #105: How to Find Your Calling and Live with Confidence .

and Practical Ways to Make your Day-to-Day Easier #161

Love,

Friendship - Written by Stephanie May Wilson

Mon, 11 Apr 2022 18:52:00 GMT

Feel Like Giving Up? Here’s How to Help Your Heart Move Forward After a Toxic Friendship.

“I feel like giving up on friendship.”

That’s what a reader told me the other day. She’s been hurt. Betrayed. And making new friends sounded like more of the same.

Then she asked if I’ve ever felt this same way.

In an instant, I was back in college, my heart racing, my stomach in knots as I heard a group of my friends talking about me behind my back, just on the other side of the door.

I was living in the dorms with a bunch of girls, and my room was right across from the common room. After the first night, I tried to always be the last one to bed. I dreaded quiet moments when I could hear their stage whispers on the other side of the wall, tearing apart my actions, my personality, my words. Finally, I bought a big box fan to block out the noise. There was a small relief knowing that if they were talking about me, at least I couldn’t hear it.

Friend, if you have been burned by a bad friendship, you are so not alone! Because yes, I have been betrayed by friends. I have felt sad and lonely even in the middle of a crowded room. I’ve had great friendships, but I’ve also had awful ones.

There were times when I wanted to give up on friendships altogether. I had moments when I wanted to write off all girlfriends, declaring that they are all mean gossips, never to be trusted. But I couldn’t quite stamp out a glimmer of hope that maybe it didn’t have to be that way.

Eventually, while on a trip to Costa Rica, I connected with a group of 20 incredible women. I discovered there that it is possible to have true, life-giving friendships. I’m so glad I didn’t give up! Because in my faith, in my work, in my pursuit of God’s plan for my life, I have NEVER experienced anything (other than God, of course!) more life-changing than having a great group of girlfriends by my side and in my corner.

I often wish I could go back and show that 20-year-old Stephanie the future, full of some of the sweetest, wisest, most loving friends in the world. And if I could go back, here’s what I’d love to say to her:

REMEMBER THAT HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE. Most of the time, when someone is a bad friend, it’s because she’s never had a good friend. She had friends who talked about her behind her back, friends who made fun of her, friends she couldn’t be vulnerable with. If you have bad friends, maybe they have been hurt. And hurt people hurt people. Wounded people will wound people.

CHOOSE NOT TO BE THAT PERSON. I know you’ve been hurt. But you can take a different path here. You can stop the cycle. Though I believe we as women can be the worst thing to happen to each other (we really can be so cruel!), I also believe we can be the best thing to happen to each other. And we get to make that choice. Choose to be a good friend. Choose to be kind. Choose to be the friend that feels safe, welcoming, and warm. That choice will change your life, and it’ll change your friends’ lives too.

SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES FOR THE FUTURE. As we’re pursuing friendships, it’s so important to know what we’re looking for in a friend. It’s equally important to know what we’re not looking for. A few years ago, I got tired of being friends with people who were mean to me. It sounds so silly, but I was a full-grown adult who was still allowing girls to be as mean to me as they were when we were 13! I finally just said, “Enough!”

It took me until I was 25 years old to say, “It is not okay for you to hurt me because you are hurt.”

I decided not to engage in those mean-spirited relationships anymore. And I know it can be so hard to walk away from a friend—especially when you know she is acting out of her own broken heart—but I have learned it is not our job to fix someone.

I have realized walking away is not the same as saying, “I hate you.”

Instead, I was saying, “I love you and want you to get help. But until you can treat me with kindness, respect, and safety, we need to part ways.”

KEEP TRYING! TRUE, WONDERFUL, LIFE-LONG FRIENDSHIPS ARE POSSIBLE FOR YOU. I PROMISE! Yes, some girls are mean. Some friendships are toxic, and some relationships hurt us more deeply than we realized we could be hurt. But they won’t all be this way. It takes courage to put ourselves out there again, but that’s what it takes to meet women who will feel like sisters, who will be by your side and in your corner for the most important, most fun, most difficult, most wonderful days of your life. Those friends who will make your life so much better! Even if you have never experienced these relationships before, it’s possible for you, and it’s not even close to too late. Please don’t give up now.

For me, choosing to keep trying looked like showing up in new places . It looked like cutting ties with some friends and bravely trying to make new ones. And of course, it looked like taking a chance on a new adventure—heading to Europe with two new girlfriends who would transform (probably even save!) my life and become two of the most important people in my life! (Don’t know what I’m talking about? Read my story of finding God, friends, and the perfect cappuccino here !)

I’ve said it already, but I am so glad I stuck it out. So very glad. I hope and pray you’ll soon find yourself sitting around with a new best friend (with an open box of pizza on the coffee table), thinking, “I’m so glad I stuck it out. It was all worth it.”

P.S. Here are a few podcast episodes on the subject that I know you’ll love!

Girls Night #69: How to Know When a Friendship Needs to End (and How to Actually End It!)

Girls Night #88: How to Stay Close to your Friends When you’re in Different Stages of Life

The Answer.

Wed, 30 Mar 2022 23:28:00 GMT

I, Somer Phoebus, am discovering that there is a very simple answer to a chronic complaint that has plagues almost all believers I've spent time with lately. Keep in mind, a lot of my ministry time is spent with teenagers through college age students, and let me tell ya, our society has trained them well to consider themselves above all else, that self-care and their own ideals and feeling are more important than most other things in life.

Before I go on, I want to make sure you understand I am not anti self-care, nor do I think it is healthy to ignore our thoughts and feelings or to keep them to ourselves. However, I do believe as with so many things in our world, that in an effort to make humans better, we've made God smaller and ourselves larger. Basically, we're formulating a plan that will encourage nominal Christianity and discourage all-in, surrendered Christ-followers.

So that chronic complaint with the simple answer I'm hearing so often is this....

"Why do I feel..." and then fill in the blank with your answer. The blank can be filled in with a multitude of things specific to the individual, but if the complaint begins the same every time, the answer is also the same every time.

Why do I feel...

Unhappy

Insignificant

Unsuccessful

Ignored

Depressed

Anxious

Left out

The answer?

MISPLACED FOCUS.

Every. Time.

We're too busy looking in our mirror instead of looking to our Master.

Hear me when I say though, this does not mean that if your eyes are on God you won't experience any of those things above. Walking with God isn't easy. I know a lot of mature believers that struggle with anxiety, but one friend in particular reminded me that this hard place where she is walking is for HIS purpose, so she's okay! I believe she even used the word "honored" when she was talking about being used by God in this way.

You see, when we're focused on Jesus, we don't care about our symptoms as much as we do the purpose behind them. If God has you walking through a dark place like my friend, it's for a reason. Our job is to stay focused on HIS light.

Paul spent many of his days in prison, but he didn't ask "Why me?" Instead, he thanked God for the opportunity to be used for His glory and we worshipped (see Acts 16:16-40).

Here's a question I've been asking myself and those I am discipling as well: How many times a day do we use the word "I" or "me?" And how often is it in the midst of a sentence where the goal is to complain?

The more we complain, the more we're unhappy, and the more we're unhappy, the more we complain.

But if we truly understood what Jesus did for us and what we've been delivered from, we would laugh at even the thought that something isn't fair or that our life is too hard. We wouldn't dare be irritable over our situation that isn't ideal or is not what we had hoped for.

The bottom line is that we were not made to worry about ourselves, because we were not made for the sake of ourselves. It's extremely unnatural to our spiritual selves - our new man in Christ - to focus on our own feelings and emotions. So if you're noticing constant tension that you're calling unhappiness or discontentment you may want to check the cause of your uncomfortableness.

Could it be that you're fighting against your spiritual self by making yourself the center of your concern when the center of everything we are and everything we live for should be God?

When we make it about us, we cease to worship Him.

We have been created to do nothing but lift up and Glorify God. That is our very purpose. Our ONLY purpose. Will you make Him the focus?

Prayer: Dear God, please be the focus of our lives and our worship. Lord, forgive me for being concerned with myself and for taking my eyes off of You. I ask You to reveal Yourself to me so that even int he midst of hard times I can see Your power at work within me and I can display Your glory for others to see. Thank you for loving me! I love You! Amen.

~ Written by Somer Phoebus an author from She Works His Way (volume 2)

When God says, Wow.

Tue, 15 Feb 2022 17:52:00 GMT

“You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God” 1 Peter 3:4 , NLT. The story of Ruth is my favorite story in the Bible because it is the first real Cinderella story I always felt I could relate to. You have a woman, Ruth, who was born in the strange and foreign land of Moab. She married and experienced loss. Then she left Moab to follow her mother-in-law, Naomi, to Bethlehem Judah. In this new land, she met Boaz. They would eventually marry, and she would become the mother of Obed, who was in the lineage of King David and Jesus. What was it about Ruth that not only caught Boaz’s eye but, more importantly, God’s eye. What was it that made this woman from a foreign land stand out the moment she stepped foot into Bethlehem? It is the same thing that causes you and I to stand out whenever we enter a place. The Bible says there’s a quality of a woman that is so precious in God’s sight. This quality stands out to man and to God Himself. It is the quality of a meek and quiet spirit.

It causes both God and man to stand back and say, Wow!

Meek means mild and humble. Quiet means stillness. We women have had to be strong and tough, haven’t we? All throughout history, we’ve had to take care of our families. We’ve had to work long hours to make ends meet. We’ve had to endure suffering and pain. We’ve had to breakdown barriers and go to great lengths to show that we are capable and worthy of love and respect. This verse isn’t saying for us to give up what we’ve worked so hard for. It’s not saying for us to stay in our place and be silent. What God is saying is this quality of meekness and quietness goes deeper into the heart and soul of a person. Meekness and quietness is a pure resolve to trust God with your entire wellbeing. It is real strength. It is power under control.

It is handling messy situations with class because you trust in the love God has for you, how He feels about you, and what He has spoken over your life. It is a sweetness that is released when being crushed. It is a perfume that everyone smells when pressure comes. And it can only be produced in the heart of someone who allows God entrance into their life to work in them. Prayer: Father, I cry out to you. I want to be what you consider beautiful. Work in me. Work in my heart and mind. Accomplish in me a meek and quiet spirit that’s not worked up and out of control. Help me be the woman you thought of when you were forming me in my mother’s womb. I trust you, Father. In Jesus’ name, Amen. (Read 1 Peter 3:4 -5)

~ From the Daughter of the King Devotional App

If you're not the best Bible reader....(I wasn't either)

Wed, 19 Jan 2022 17:41:00 GMT

So many of us want to truly grow closer to God but either don't know how or are struggling to consistently carve out time to spend with Him. If you're feeling this way, you're not alone in your frustration!

How to fall in love with reading the Bible...

When I first became a Christian, I was totally intimidated by the Bible. I picked up a free one at church, and it sat on my nightstand making me feel a little extra holy, but I never quite opened it to start to read.

The first time I ever actually read it was on my first mission trip to Costa Rica. They told us to bring one, so I did, and that first morning they gave us an hour to read and spend time with God. I had no idea where to start.

I whispered to my best friend, Michelle, who was sitting across the room, “Where do I start? I have no idea what I’m doing!”

“Start in Matthew,” she whispered back. “There’s a table of contents. You’ll find it there.” I fumbled until I found it, but the words read like gibberish. I closed it and took a deep breath, opting to journal instead.

The Bible is intimidating for a lot of reasons, but one of the main ones is its size. It’s a massive book, a gigantic book. If you were assigned that book in school you’d groan, and whine, and reach immediately for the CliffsNotes version — is that just me?

It’s full of names we don’t know how to pronounce, details that are hard to remember, and stories and lessons that are hard to relate to and make sense of and even harder to put into practice.

Not only that, but at least to me, reading the Bible didn’t sound fun. It sounded like the opposite actually, like the kind of thing you know you have to do but dread — like going to the gym, or getting an oil change, or eating a salad. But just a few months into my life as a Christian, I read a book, a passage specifically, that changed everything for me.

I don’t know if you have ever read the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller but, if you haven’t, you should! There’s a section in which Don is talking to a friend of his who is telling him about when she first became a Christian. This is how she describes it:

“We would eat chocolates and smoke cigarettes and read the Bible, which is the only way to do it, if you ask me. Don, the Bible is so good with chocolate. I always thought the Bible was more of a salad thing, you know, but it isn’t. It is a chocolate thing.”

I read that paragraph, and read it again. I skipped right over the cigarettes part, but my eyes stopped at the last sentence. “I always thought the Bible was more of a salad thing, you know, but it isn’t. It’s a chocolate thing.”

She had me. That’s exactly what I had always thought about the Bible. It was a salad thing, a “have to” instead of a “get to” — like folding your laundry or eating your vegetables. But she suggested that I might have gotten it all wrong, that there might be another side to the Bible I’d never experienced before.

All along, I’d known that the Bible was full of things I should know. When people explained things to me from it, they were helpful, and relevant, and insightful, and I wanted to be able to find those things for myself. Not only that, but I knew that if you wanted to get to know someone better, and that someone had written a book, you should probably read it. I wanted to get to know God better, and so I knew I should probably read His book.

I decided I wanted to give this Bible thing another try — this time looking for the chocolate in it — so that’s exactly what I did.

Later that night, I put on my favorite album, turned on the twinkle lights above my bed, found the golden bar of Toblerone I’d been saving for such a time as this, and put on my favorite over-sized yoga pants. I climbed into my bed, opened my Bible, and began to read, popping a triangle of Toblerone in my mouth every few pages.

“The Bible isn’t a salad book; it’s a chocolate book.” — she was right!

I started in Matthew again, and read right through. I looked for the richness, the relationship, the lessons I could apply to my life, for places where God shows us who He is, for times when He shows us how much He loves us. And as I did, the Bible started to open up to me, to come alive beginning that day, and more and more the more I read.

Reading and understanding the Bible is a lifelong process . It’s an almost magical book where it never gets old; every time you open it, it teaches you something new. I didn’t just magically understand it overnight, but I did start to discover that it’s so much more than first meets the eye.

It’s a love story, an epic adventure, an eternal battle of good versus evil. It’s a guide to life that makes way more sense than anything I’ve ever found in a magazine or the self-help aisle. It’s full of stories of people just like you and me — messy people, imperfect people — and how God used them (and wants to use us!) to do miraculous, beautiful, life-changing things in His world. And that day, with the twinkle lights sparkling overhead and the Toblerone melting in my mouth, I started to see that for the very first time.

Later that year, I started the very first small group I’ve ever led. It was a small group of 27 (not small at all, now that I think about it) sorority girls — messy, honest, amazing women. We would gather in this cozy room above the church on oversized couches every Sunday afternoon. We’d talk about God, and life, and where the two meet, and how to connect with God in real, authentic, and helpful ways.

But on our first day, before we got started with anything else, I wanted to set the tone for where we were going. I wanted them to know what was in store for them. So they walked in to find a stack of Bibles and a huge bowl of chocolates.

“The Bible isn’t a salad book,” I told them, “It’s a chocolate book.” Then, we began to read.

Carve out some time today (even if it’s just a few minutes) to read the Bible in a whole new way. Curl up in something cozy, turn on something twinkly and bright, get your favorite chocolate, and read a passage of the Bible. If you need a place to start, begin by reading the book of Mark, and don’t forget to look for the chocolate in it as you do. I promise you it’s there. If you’re looking for a great Bible Study, check out Seamless by Angie Smith, or anything by Beth Moore . They’ve helped me understand the Bible so much better, and I know they will for you too!

From the Blog of Stephanie May Wilson

How to Make New Friends as an Adult

Wed, 05 Jan 2022 04:55:00 GMT

I just moved to a new city, and I’m struggling because I don’t know anyone here. I don’t have any friends yet, and I’m not sure how to change that. Sometimes I look around at groups of girls and think, “I feel like I would fit in with them!” But how do I actually start the conversation? I feel awkward and lonely, and I’m wondering if you have some advice for making friends as an adult in a new city. Hey, friend! First, thank you for being so brave and asking this question! I know you feel so lonely right now, but believe me, you’re not alone. In fact, I was in your exact same shoes just a few short years ago. Just moments after our wedding, my new husband and I packed up everything we had and moved to Nashville, TN, a town where I didn’t know a soul. It was a total whirlwind —exciting and terrifying all at once. I was so excited to be married to Carl, and I was excited to start a new life in a new city, but I quickly found myself in one of the loneliest seasons of my entire life. That’s the thing I didn’t realize. I didn’t realize you could be newly married to the love of your life and also lonelier than you’ve ever been. I didn’t realize that a husband couldn’t possibly fill my need for great friends. And I also didn’t realize that making new friends in a new city was going to be so hard. I remember looking around at church, thinking, “There are all these cool people here who could be my friends! But how do I go from shaking hands during the awkward ‘greet your neighbor’ part of the church service to having that girl’s number? Or feeling close enough to call her up for a spontaneous girls night on a rainy Friday?” It took some time, but I learned that the best thing to do was simply show up. Easier said than done, right? But truly, after trying and failing (for longer than I care to admit!), I finally realized that the secret to making new friends as an adult can be summed up in those two words: Show up. Here’s how we can put these words into action…

SHOW UP IN A NEW SITUATION OR PLACE.

If you want to meet new people, the very best way is to show up in a place where people you haven’t met yet are going to be hanging out! So the first step I took was finding some of those places. I did a quick Google search for churches, organizations, clubs, and classes in my area. I was surprised at how many options and opportunities there were. I think you will be too! Once I’d found some options, I took my next step. I picked the church I wanted to try, and I went. And yes, I know that is so much easier said than done. Trust me, I was SO intimidated to take that step. I think we all are! It may look like everyone else in the room is confident and sure, but the truth is, most of us are scared. Most of us are unsure. Most of us don’t feel comfortable walking into a room full of strangers. Most of our armpits are doing their best Niagara Falls impression. And that realization helped me a lot. We’re all there, feeling awkward, doing the best we can. But when we show up, before we know it, those strangers start to turn into friends. So, friend, that’s the first thing I learned. Step one is to show up in a new situation or place. Where can you show up this week? Where can you meet the kinds of people you want to be friends with?

SHOW UP CONSISTENTLY.

The biggest mistake I first made was showing up somewhere once, feeling awkward, and then deciding I wasn’t going to show up in that place again. I’d just give up! But making new friends takes time, intentionality, and consistency. (What a bummer, right? I wish it was a one-time thing!) The more often you show up, the more your odds grow for making a new friend. One really does lead to the other. When I needed friends in Nashville, I turned it into a little game for myself. I love lists, so I made a checklist. (I can get myself to do anything if it’s on a list!) I told myself I needed to ask one person to coffee every week. Would the first coffee date be awkward? YES! The second? A little less awkward. And by number four? Maybe I’d start to feel like I had a friend. So if checklists work for you, make a list! Every time you check off a box, you know you’re closer to having friends who are your people —the comfy pants friends, the ones who really know you and love you — at your best and at your worst.

SAY YES. SHOW UP WHERE YOU’RE INVITED.

Oh, this was a tough one for me. Let me tell you, I am a professional at Netflix and chill. I really am! But for a long time, that kept me from forming the kinds of connections I wanted. It was too easy for me to stay home in my comfy sweats and messy bun. It was easy to shrug off invitations because I didn’t want to get dressed up, put on makeup, and put on my shiniest, brightest smile for people I didn’t know well. (It can be exhausting! ) I can remember one time when I told one of my new girlfriends I’d be at her birthday party. It was a freezing December day in Nashville, and I could feel myself getting sick. I wanted to skip out—and I had a legitimate reason! But I talked myself into going. And I’m SO glad I did. A few things happened. First, I grew closer to the birthday girl. Because when we show up for each other, even if we don’t already have a deep connection, our friendships grow. That night I learned that having better friends often starts with being a better friend. Good friends show up for each other! (And they definitely don’t flake out at the last minute.) Oh, and another amazing thing happened at that party: I met two new girls who I totally hit it off with! I would have missed out on so much if I had decided not to show up that night. I didn’t know if then, but I’d just done one of the biggest things I could do for my loneliness: I got off the couch and said yes to showing up.

BE VULNERABLE. SHOW UP ON THE BAD DAYS TOO.

When my dear friend Hanna and I were just getting to know each other, she invited me to lunch. I was so excited for a chance to get to know her better, so I said yes immediately. But when the day of the lunch arrived, I was having a bad day. It was terrible timing. My company was in the middle of total upheaval: people were losing their jobs, feelings were hurt, friends were angry… heck, I was angry about it all too! The thought of showing up to lunch with a smile on my face felt impossible. So instead pretending I had it all together, I was honest with her. I even cried. And you’ll never believe what happened. Well, maybe you will believe it, but I remember being so surprised. Instead of being put off by my anger and sadness, Hanna got angry and sad with me. She got mad on my behalf. She cried with me. Instead of looking down on me or backing away, she got down into the mess with me.

A week later, I got a note from her. In the note, Hanna thanked me for opening up to her. She said she felt honored. She said she was so glad we were friends. Vulnerability brings us closer. It gives us the chance to say, “This friendship is a space where you don’t have to be perfect. Your imperfections are welcome at this table. There’s a place for you here. I know this because I’m a mess… you’re a mess… so we can be in this mess together.” Friend, if you are struggling to find friends, know that you are NOT alone. I know this is tough, but I’m sitting here in Nashville today as living proof that you can make new best friends (that will soon feel like old friends) no matter where you are, no matter what season you’re in, no matter how scared or awkward or lonely you feel right now. It can be done. You’ve got this!

~This blog is from Stephanie May Wilson who also has a great podcast called Girls Night! Here is her website - check it out!

If you’d like to hear more stories and tips of making friends as an adult, here are the perfect resources to for you! Listen to Stephanie's sweet friend Kaitlin talk about her friendship journey in this Girls Night episode !

Christmas.... or Christmas!

Mon, 20 Dec 2021 20:16:00 GMT

Hi everyone! It's Lisa here, BeYOUtiful's Office Manager. First of all, all of us here wish you a very Merry Christmas. We hope you're able to slow down, relax and enjoy the true meaning of Christmas. Although...... we know it can be hard with the stress of the holiday as well.

Ok bear with me, I'm not a blogger or a writer, so this is just me putting my thoughts down.

Back in November I had COVID, it was absolutely yucky! During that time my daughters ages (21 & 18) were requesting Christmas gifts and I was NOT in the mood for Christmas.

But now, that I'm feeling 100%, I'm ready for Christmas!! Excited for my girls and husband to open gifts, do our Christmas traditions (monkey bread Christmas morning, stockings, presents, time with family, a movie, games and puzzles). I'm ready to reflect on the Reason for the Season. It truly is the best Christmas gift. The fact that Jesus born as a baby, was given to us, died for us, gives us grace and salvation! I mean WOW! What a reason to have JOY and celebrate!

So put on that fantastic outfit! Wear the sparkly eye shadow, turn up the Christmas music and truly ENJOY Christmas!

10 Eating Healthy Tips for the Busy Mom

Wed, 10 Nov 2021 06:00:00 GMT

A little over three years ago I found myself at the same weight that I was when I was 9 months pregnant. I needed to start embracing eating healthy tips. And although they seemed so elementary, in the end, as my doctor told me, you can’t out exercise what you eat.

So I started my journey in how to eat healthy as a busy mom, but it really became a healthy lifestyle change. I didn’t want another drink this, take this pill, exercise this much magic remedy. I wanted to know what eating healthy tips really worked long term.

I finally wanted real life change.

And that my friend is exactly what I want for you as well.

Today I’m thrilled to say that I am 15 pounds lighter then I was 3 years ago and feeling better every day.

Now I must admit, this isn’t like a HUGE weight loss, but it’s been transformative for me. It truly has been a journey for me. And I’ve learned a lot about how to live my life with the RIGHT framework along with daily must have habits—so that I truly can be a healthy living mom in every area of my life.

My weight loss journey hasn’t been a quick fix.

Like I said, it’s been three years.

And if your looking for those eating healthy tips so you can be healthy right now—you will get some quick wins from the practical healthy eating tips that I’m going to share.

But, I’m going to be honest by saying it will take time if you truly want a lifestyle change for the better. It will be a journey for you too.

Sound good? Okay, let’s get started.

How do I start eating healthier?

First off, there are two things that make up a strong foundation for starting to eat healthier. And to be honest, these are the most important foundations to making a positive change in any area of your life.

In my own journey, I’ve learned a lot about how eating healthy directly relates to my faith and my relationship with God. Eating healthy is solely a reflection of what I like to say often.

What you think influences how you feel, and how you feel determines what you do.

So let me tell you a little story about how that played out, not too long ago.

When I was a young mom, it was common for me when I felt stressed at the end of the day to reach for either a cold can of Coca Cola Classic, a glass of wine, or even a beer.

But, the drinks didn’t really take my stress away. It just relaxed my body. The stress was still there, but I felt relaxed, so I didn’t really change my habit.

But as I began to focus more intentionally on my relationship with God daily, instead of turning to these drinks to take the edge off, I started to turn to God in prayer. I used to do this all the time, but somehow along the way of becoming a mom, I had started to lose this habit. And, once again, like I had experienced before I was a mom, I started to see progress with my stress.

Being a wine mom only numbed my mom stress. But when I turned turn to God, He took my stress and gave me peace.

In addition to being frustrated with my weight, we were also living in a really stressful situation—living in our garage. I could have easily blamed my weight on that, but I had to just face the truth. And that led to still one more thing that I discovered I needed to do.

Building on that foundation of intentionally growing my relationship with God daily, I started to take control of my thought life. And to be honest, it only took me and my husband 30 days to notice the transformation.

You see once I started to understand the connection with eating healthy, my faith, and my thoughts—I could start implementing healthy eating habits that really started to stick. Because I had the RIGHT foundation to start creating healthier habits every single day.

And if I can do that, I know you can do it too. Here’s how you can get started eating healthier every day.

How can I eat healthier every day?

During that time, I discovered that there are some key habits and routines that I must have in my day in order for me to be a healthy living mom. And if you want to know those same routines—no sweat. I’ve put them together for you in my freebie checklist to help you Make Life Easier .

One of those strategic routines I mention in the checklist is to have a healthy choices plan in place before your day starts.

So what does that look like?

Honestly, it’s you making a decision about how you are going to choose and respond to your choices you have in your day—before the day even starts.

By making a plan today for the healthy choices you’re going to make tomorrow—you are being proactive to begin with the end in mind.

Secondly, when you’re making your plan it also has to really get to the root of why you want to make these changes in your life. You really have to get to heart of your why.

So, take just a moment and think through this question: Why do you really want to implement healthy eating tips into your life?

This is where it’s become really important for you to understand the connection between your faith and eating healthier.

For me, there actually has been a lot of scripture that God has used in transforming my mind about this, but there’s one that has stood out the most to me.

Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? —1 Corinthians 6:19 (NKJV)

So, if this is true that I’m a temple of the Holy Spirit, then I need to care for my body, not for myself, but because it honors God. The same is true for you.

If you are a temple of the Holy Spirit, then you need to care for your body, not for yourself, but because it honors God.

Secondly, getting a hold of my thoughts shouldn’t be about me either losing weight for the sake of being skinny. Instead, a more meaningful why is to be healthier so that I can keep physically active with my son as he gets older.

But what does eating healthier every day look like on a practical level? Well, building on the foundation of a growing faith and biblical self talk, here are 10 healthy eating tips that I’ve found work really well.

10 Eating Healthy Tips

We’ve covered some great practical daily healthy eating tips, but you’re also probably wondering, what you should you actually eat for healthy eating. No problem! Let’s talk a little about that next.

What should I eat for healthy eating?

There’s a lot of different perspectives about what is healthy eating and what do you eat. And honestly, as I’ve really leaned into my faith, I’ve never been more convinced that God made food and it is good.

So a lot of this was actually prompted by a scenario our pastor shared and thinking more about the power that food can have over us.

To start, I think it’s worth noting that the story of the fall of man revolves around the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. That’s just one example of the powerful influence that food has over us. But here’s another from my pastor. Here’s what he said.

“I’m holding in my left hand a Snickers Bar. Now, how easy could it be for me to eat 2 to 3 of these Snickers bars in one sitting? It’s not all that far fetched, right? Now, take a look at my right hand. I’m holding an apple. How easy is it for me to eat 2 to 3 apples in one sitting? Rare. You don’t ever really imagine anyone eating 3 whole apples in one sitting. Why is that?”

This is definitely something for us to consider. The point of this example is that we have a natural human tendency towards choosing what we crave, not what is God’s best for us.

Again this is why it’s important for us to have the right foundation of a growing faith and being in control of our thoughts.

God made apples and they are good for us.

If we are searching after what God says is good then we’ll want more of what God wants for us and the Spirit helps us to do that as well.

Here’s a simple diagram that I’ve put together that helps me to visually remember this plan for clean eating.

This as well is something to consider when you are deciding what to eat for eating healthy. You have to take into consideration any health concerns. Like if you’re pregnant, according to my nutritionist, you’ll want to double your daily protein intake.

In case you’re wondering how this might look like as we approach the upcoming Hoilidays—or any holiday for that matter—I’ve also written about this more in 9 Tips for Eating Healthy for the Holidays that will Guarantee You Won’t Gain Weight .

Wow! That was quite a bit of information that we’ve covered.

I’m glad you stuck here with me, because honestly, I get it. I know how you’re feeling and I want to help you in your journey too.

Over the past 3 years, I’ve implemented a simple RIGHT framework for my life and cultivated a consistent daily rhythm of 5 routines. And, I want you to be able to avoid any mistakes I’ve made along the way.

Because there’s nothing I want more than to see you have success with starting to create eating healthy tips of your own that are based on solid routines and habits.

And that’s why I created a free daily routine checklist just for you. It will help you know exactly the 5 routines I have for in my day that you can apply in your own journey to becoming a healthy living mom. Have you grabbed your copy yet?

.~Written by Sonya from the HealthyLivingMom.com blog

Perspective.

Wed, 27 Oct 2021 05:04:00 GMT

The continuing of the orange cones on the roads is still upon us. And how about those pot holes, the ones that swallow your car up.

Typically, you get some sort of warning about road construction or road closures around here. One day your on your morning commute, coffee in hand, your favorite podcast chirping in your ear, doing your best to love others on the S curve and you glance over to see the budding orange cones, neatly lining the side of the road, that’s your sign. Or, there’s the massive digital billboard that about blinds you as you bank left and sit your car into the turn that scream “ROAD CLOSURE” and gives you an expected date of arrival, much like a shipping date from Amazon. I really do appreciate the warning because it gives me time to figure out a new route to work, I’m lucky in that I have several options to choose from.

On one particular Monday, why wouldn’t it be a Monday, my route was rudely interrupted and without warning. I missed the warning shots of my favorite ramp that transitions me nicely around downtown Grand Rapids. In fact it caught me so off guard that I didn’t believe the orange apron on the green street sign that said “RAMP CLOSED”, me in my disbelief just kept on truckin. Well that lasted for five hot seconds, before I knew it all I saw was red tail lights and me and about 100 of my favorite traveling buddies were rudely re-routed INTO downtown. Needless to say, I got Googled, ended up one way in the wrong direction, make a u-turn as soon as possible, re-routing, re-routing to finally getting back on my journey to work. I arrived safely, I wasn’t late because I well am never late, that’s a whole nother story.

The next morning I pre-planned, hit the commute button on Google maps before I jumped in the car and found the next best path, M6. I have to say this is one of the most peaceful roads I have traveled. It’s very different from my S curve adventures where we all jockey for spots going into the turns. M6 is almost as wonderful as sitting by my fireplace, coffee in hand, dog at my feet, I’ve learned it’s pretty great if you have to make an early morning commute but it takes me longer to get to work and it’s actually more miles getting there. Another thing I have come to appreciate is the way the sun rises, almost as if it’s just for me, while I’m on my commute. When I leave the house, the days first light is happening and within 10 minutes I experience the most serene and peaceful awakening on the day, the sunrise. The colors, the clouds and the rays that awaken are absolutely spectacular, leaving me speechless and in awe every single time.

I smile at the thought of what had to transpire in order for me to be re-routed, almost frustrated, to this particular path to work, to those moments of experiencing the incredible hand painted sunrises. Those frustrating, multiplying by the day orange cones forced me to a new path that quite honestly I was just fine with the old one. It was fast, like my car, it was efficient, like me and it was familiar.

How often do we choose, fast, efficient and familiar? What are we missing out on, is there something better that might take longer? Those annoying orange cones look different to me these days, they offer a new experience, a new path with different direction. What orange cones in your life have left you frustrated maybe annoyed. Maybe there is a better path with new scenery, perhaps the orange budding cones aren’t so bad after all.

~ Written by Stacy Udell a friend of Lisa's

What do we do exactly?

Mon, 11 Oct 2021 16:59:00 GMT

Well, we like to say we're in the business of building confidence.

How do we do that?

It really all starts with our colors. According to our specific and unique coloring that God created us with (our hair, eyes and skin); we all look really great in certain colors.

This is called your Color Code. (see photo)

And when we look great, we feel great....Right?!

Don't believe us?

Have you have had some ask you if you weren't feeling well or if you didn't sleep well because you look tired... even though you weren't tired and feel fine???

It could very well be that you're wearing a color that doesn't suit you.

Or..... do you have a shirt or a dress that you wear and EVERY time you get compliments?

It's probably because it's a color that's in your color code and looks great on you and makes you glow!

If you're intrigued and would like us to help you find your color code, book an appointment with us. We'd love to boost your confidence and serve YOU!

https://www.beyoutifulimageconsulting.com/

Becoming a Woman of Character

Mon, 04 Oct 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Through God’s Grace: Comparing Myself To The Proverbs 31 Woman

Do you ever get that sinking feeling of not measuring up to other women?

Have you read Proverbs 31 and felt hopeless because there is no way you could ever be her? Have you ever felt frustrated or angry with God for giving us such incredibly high standards to live up to?

Me too, girl.

I remember when I first read this chapter years ago. I was bewildered at how much that woman had on her plate, and yet maintained an air of grace and humility. I went straight to thinking, “There is no way I could ever be her.”

On my busiest days, it’s a struggle to hold my tongue towards my husband, much less give thought to those less fortunate.

Thinking back on the rough patches Jesse and I have gone through, especially in our early years of marriage, I feel a special place in my heart for those women who would much rather skip that chapter than compare themselves to that woman.

As women, we are constantly battling the standards that society has placed upon our shoulders. But what does God’s word actually say about what it means to be a godly, virtuous woman with honorable character?

When you dive into studying the Proverbs 31 woman and how she lived her life, you find that it’s actually a chapter of celebration not comparison.

The call on our lives is a specific call given to us from God. We are not intended to be just like the Proverbs 31 woman , we are intended to be just like Jesus.

So becoming like the Proverbs 31 woman is not a matter of checking off a list of accomplishments to obtain perfection or what we deem as this incredible woman.

It is to see in her the life and the love of God. It is studying the virtues described and living a life where those virtues are evident. Not only to ourselves and our families, but to those outside of our worlds as well.

The REAL Proverbs 31 woman is a woman of virtue and character. It’s not about doing and going and checking off to do lists. It is about becoming like the Lord. And that is only done by and through God’s grace, not by exhausting ourselves through endless striving.

Worldly pursuits will wear you out, girl. Worldly pursuits to have the perfect appearance, perfect marriage, and to have it all together will only exhaust you. But a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.

Let us chase after His heart.

“Who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm all the days of her life.”

The Proverbs 31 woman lives in such a way that her husband trusts in her. Trust plays into a variety of areas within any relationship. Faithfulness, finances, speaking well of one another, intentionality, listening, supporting, and letting your yes be yes.

Matthew 5:37 says “Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’, ‘no’. For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”

When someone declares a promise or an oath, they are undermining their own word by giving that promise or oath. They are implying that what you have said in the past may not have been as accurate. Oaths vocalize that you may be giving half truths or little white lies.

As women who live in the love of God, but ALSO the fear of God, we should be mindful about being honest in what we say and in what we do, even in the little things.

So let me tell you about a time when I was slightly naïve and sinful.

I had a boyfriend when I was younger and he was a worship leader. I was a baby Christian and he was very good at manipulation. He made me feel like it was all a game I had to win and that I had to measure up. If I measured up then we would get married. (Which I’m thankful never happened.)

I had been fighting for this guy to give me the type of attention I felt I needed. He had said a lot of things like, “I don’t know if God has called you to be my wife, but I’m so drawn to you”.

One night he invited me over to his place very late. My first thought was “he’s a worship leader, he’s not going to do anything, but he’s going to give me the attention I’ve been craving.”

Having lived a sinful life, I knew about that world, but I thought maybe this could be different.

I truly wanted to justify my sinful desire by saying “well, it’s okay because he’s in a position of power in the church.” It is SO easy to go there. It’s so easy to be drawn in by temptation.

Nothing happened, but I’m thankful for that experience because now I see situations that have risen in my life since then where a church pastor has reached out to me and my first thought is, “oh he’s a pastor and he just wants to talk”.

It could easily turn into confusion, but instead I can say, “no, I’ve been here. This is not a time to be naïve. This is not a time to play pretend. This is a time to be a faithful woman and follow what God h

as called me to.”

I want to call you up to that. In our workplaces and social media DM’s, in our own friendships we must treat every interaction cautiously. This is not to say, be legalistic and don’t have any friends.

I have male friends, but they are also my husband’s friends. I never text them without Jesse in the chat as well. This is just a precautionary thing that I think is wise. Jesse and I also have full access to one another’s phones , it’s just helpful. It’s trust.

And so bringing it back to the Proverbs 31 woman , it says she was trustworthy. So as we walk, we should be intentional and aware of what situations we are getting ourselves into.

We should be trustworthy, not only in our lives, but in our hearts and minds because God knows our true desires. Our motives in life matter. So if we live without secrets, we give our spouse reason to trust in us.

The Proverbs 31 woman also served her husband selflessly, not reserving any love or affection. She was warm to him. It says he honored and praised her out loud. How rare is that (unfortunately)? She honored him well and was worthy of praise.

I know that many of you are single and so preparing our hearts for the future is absolutely crucial. It helps us to keep our eyes on eternity, rather than on ourselves or a relationship that we’ve begun to idolize.

Whether you are single or married, you can begin preparing your heart for the future, so that we can grow up to mentor those in a season below us.

Ladies, I want you to focus on that verse, no matter what season you are in, and how it says “all the days of her life”.

Your life does not start when you get that career, your life does not start when you get married or have children. Though the world may tell us that, that is not biblical truth. Your life is NOW. You are in the moment. Stop wishing for something greater. Stop wishing for the next day.

Are you content? Are you seeking God’s heart right now in order to allow Him to prune and sanctify you to be the woman He’s called you to be, whether we ever have a husband or children or that dream job.

~Lindsey Maestas https://sparrowsandlily.com/about-2/about/

www.beyoutifulimageconsulting.com

for your service needs on tips and tricks for your style.

Have you heard of a Style Workshop?

A fun girls night while learning your color code, body type

and a stylist shopping for you.

Be like Bru

Mon, 20 Sep 2021 19:17:00 GMT

I’ve heard it said that dogs become like their masters, I do believe life would be best lived the other way around.

Our beautiful big blond Brü, I know many have heard his story of being the victim of neighborhood bullies, we still aren’t sure what triggered those dogs. There’s a small piece of me that chuckles a bit because it’s just so 2020. 2020, the year of the garbage can. If it could happen, it feels like it most certainly did or will. People are crabby, dogs are crabby and things just feel out of sorts. The unknowns, the what ifs and why nots, to mask or not to mask, 2020 has seen its fair share of chaos.

It’s interesting to me that Brü’s nature is to love everyone, that’s who he is and most certainly how he behaves. We were created the same way, in the image of God, to love everyone. EVERYONE. Love your neighbor as yourself. Brü not only meets this expectation, he exceeds it. He doesn’t care what your political views are, whether you wear a mask or not, he doesn’t worry himself with how you look or what you wear, he loves his neighbors and would likely approach the dogs that harmed him as if nothing happened. I also think he would approach the dogs a bit differently, friendly but with caution.

If I closely examine my heart I do believe there are a few, we’ll call “neighbors”, that I’ve been “attacked by” that I do not love so well. Yanno, those people in our life that we just don’t see eye to eye with, our views are different and perhaps we’ve put up walls of indifference between us. After Brü was attacked, with blood drenched ears, he pranced home with a smile on his face, looking for another neighbor or friend to love. How does he do that?

“Above all else, guard your heart”

I think it’s safe to say that guarding your heart is important, but building a fortress and moat around it was not the idea behind it. Shutting out and driving a wedge between ourself and others is the exact opposite of what we are called to do.

All the things I was taught as a young child still hold true today. We are called to love the unlovable, if grace was ever shown to you, you fully understand how important it is to give it to someone else. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Help those around you especially if someone has ever helped you out, and without question. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all.

What the world needs now is love, a big bold dose of Brü’s kind of love.

Peace.

~Written by Stacy Udell (acquaintance of Lisa VanTol)

Do you struggle with insecurity?

Tue, 07 Sep 2021 17:10:00 GMT

This is to the woman who struggles with insecurity.

I see my reflection in the bathroom mirror, grab my stomach and immediately put my face in my hands, clenching my fists with frustration.

I hear my husband sigh, as he repeats the same lines that I’ve heard over 100 times by now. “Lindsey, you’re beautiful. You’re perfect the way you are. And you just had a baby. Give yourself grace.”

I roll my eyes, partially encouraged, but not fully receiving his wisdom simply because my unrealistic expectations – which both myself and the whole of society have perpetuated – don’t allow me to.

Some days, I’m starving for affirmation. Deep down, I know that I need to find my identity in Christ, but I’m struggling.

And I’m thankful that God speaks through my husband to help dispel the lies that I’m believing and to replace them with truth when I feel most defeated.

But some days it’s just hard because the body I’m walking around in doesn’t feel anything like my own. And it doesn’t change the opinions that people have of me, whether I want them to have them or not.

I don’t feel like I’m alone in this struggle.

To be honest, I don’t think I have ever met a woman in my entire life who hasn’t struggled with body image in one way or another.

Whether it’s a postpartum body, weight gain, wrinkles, skin problems, health issues, hair loss, too much hair – we all have our ‘thing.’

As women of God, we should strive to cherish and take care of our bodies. But instead, we are destroying them with image-altering plastic surgery and fad diets while pursuing unachievable and empty goals.

And one thing is absolutely guaranteed:

For the rest of our lives, there will always be something that we’ll be able to criticize ourselves about if we choose to do so.

And as time goes on, we will only find more and more things to be unhappy about. Our looks will never be faithful to us, they will never be preserved despite any and every attempt. We have to come to terms and believe that this striving for perfection is like chasing the wind – in a moment’s notice, anything that we once cherished will be different than what it was before.

So what if we stopped this cycle now ?

Stopped setting unrealistic and unachievable goals for ourselves that only create a heavy burden.

Stopped walking away from the scale as if our joy and quality of life depend on that number.

Stopped thinking about ourselves more than we think about others.

Stopped comparing ourselves to our prettier / younger / curvier / thinner / more fit / more beautiful-skinned friends and chose contentment in the woman that God has specifically designed us to be.

Stopped breaking promises to ourselves when it comes to health and fitness.

Stopped finding our worth and value in a body that will one day turn to dust.

What if, today, you chose to take captive these negative, self-deprecating thoughts that you have all too often?

What if you focused on the state of your heart and who God says that you are instead?

You would be free.

I honestly still have a lot of days where I feel as if I’m pursuing a battle that has already been lost. I hear myself thinking, “I’m never going to achieve this. I won’t ever be happy with the way that I look from head to toe. There will always be something that I will pick apart.”

And it’s true. I won’t achieve that contentment – and I can’t – on my own. And neither can you. Otherwise, you likely would have done it already.

Sweet friends, we have to fight daily for a better perspective.

And ultimately, that means believing the truth of the Gospel.

Do you really, truly believe it?

If we did – if we believed with every fiber of our being that the King of the Universe created us in His perfect image, that He thinks of us, loves us and died specifically for us, we would be far more content with the woman that He has made us to be – no matter what shape or size.

But instead, we lose sight of the truth of the Gospel.

We allow other people to define who we are and how we should look.

We spend far too much of our lives poking, prodding and botoxing ourselves.

I encourage you today to shift your focus toward using your body for God’s Kingdom, rather than displaying it for the approval of the world.

This blog was written by Lindsey Maestas. Click here to read a little more about her. She also has an amazing podcast called The Living Easy Podcast. Great to listen to while cleaning, cooking or driving.

Please also read - Is it vanity or confidence?

www.beyoutifulimageconsulting.com

Protection at it's Finest

Tue, 24 Aug 2021 18:41:00 GMT

Beloved, I know even better than you the contents of your thoughts. Your mind is a spiritual battlefield. That's why I urge you to stay alert! When you spend time listening to Me, you need to begin with prayer for protection . The evil one is the father of lies: his deceptions can worm their way into your mind if you let down your guard. When you ask for protection, always pray in My Name , because I defeated the devil utterly on the cross!

I'm pleased that you desire to think My thoughts. Having prayed for protection, you should also ask the Holy Spirit to help you listen well. He is the Director of this listening adventure. Remain alert while you listen, ready to reject anything inconsistent with biblical truth.

As My thoughts gradually form in your mind, you may find it helpful to write them down. Thank Me for that you have received and continue to see the help of My Spirit. Don't become overly focused on writing. The process - listening to Me under the direction of My Spirit is more precious than the product: What you write. As you spend time focusing on Me, you will grow not only closer to Me but also more like Me.

~ From the devotional by Sarah Young, Dear Jesus

Vanity vs Confidence

Wed, 11 Aug 2021 15:58:00 GMT

We live in a day and age where aesthetics seem more "important" than ever. Social media seems to dictate the way we feel about ourselves and the way we present ourselves to the world. This is especially prevalent amongst our precious youth. I have chosen not to allow my children to have social media just yet. My daughter is 13 and my son is 11. I want to make is VERY clear that I do not judge any parent for their choices for their family and allowing their child social media, but here is where I am coming from. As an adult woman, I still feel myself getting drawn into the rabbit hole of social media at times. I gaze upon the beautiful lives of others, dreaming I was in the picture, on the beach by a crystal blue waters sipping champagne with my favorite people by my side. Then I am reminded that this is a moment in their life; a beautifully orchestrated post, capturing the very best moment they chose to share. No one wants to see the post of someones very worst day. Maybe we need to be showing more authentic moments so we can see life is certainty NOT perfect. We all have bad days. Let's own that people!

So, if I am adult having these moments of comparison, how can a young developing mind process this? Teenagers are all about acceptance and finding who they are. A lot of their identity is wrapped up in what their peers think of them. They are discovering who they are in the world and what is important to them. I just don't want to perpetuate doubt and insecurity. I have tried so hard to instill confidence in my kids. I remember as a teen being so worried about what everyone thought of me all the time and it was exhausting! I am very deliberate in making sure my kids see that it's your heart and character that matters most. Sure, they see me take care of myself, put on makeup and do my hair, wear clothes that make me feel good, but there is a vast difference between being self confident and being vain . A healthy self image is so important. Loving yourself and believing in yourself, is the kind of self confidence we should all strive to have. No one will love you more than you, so take care of YOU! You cannot love others without loving you first.

Vanity on the other hand, is self obsession . It is having way too much focus on ones self and appearance. It is always focused on how others see you. Nothing good can come from this. It fosters jealously and narcissism, and can lead a person down a dangerous path. A world filled with always trying to out do others and be "perfect" in the eyes of the world. It cannot be sustained and will leave that person feeling empty and disappointed.

What makes you feel self confident? Are you relying on others opinions of you to make you feel good? Are you being authentically you?

Friend, let me tell you something....there is NO ONE on this Earth like you. You are unique and precious and have something to offer this world that no one else can.

-- This blog is a repost from www.catherinesutherland.biz

On that last note "there is NO ONE on this Earth like you." She's exactly right! There's only ONE BeYOUtiful YOU! Our mission is to build confidence from the inside out using fashion and faith. We would love to get to know you better and after our time together we hope you gain confidence, joy and feel BeYOUtiful. Our passion is helping women feel BeYOUtiful - not by the worlds standards but by how God Sees them.

~Love the BeYOUtiful Team

https://www.beyoutifulimageconsulting.com/

God Celebrates YOU

Mon, 28 Jun 2021 14:12:00 GMT

A good parent celebrates every amount of progress their daughter makes. They take pictures of her first tooth, her first step, her first day at school, her first date, her first day of college. They are always celebrating her life and progress. God is no different. He is a good Father, and He is always celebrating you. He rejoices over you with gladness, He quiets you with His love, and rejoices over you with singing (see Zephaniah 3:17 ).

Think about that for a minute. Almighty God, the creator of heaven and earth, is telling the angels in heaven, “Look at My daughter! Have you noticed how much she has grown? Look at her moving forward despite all of the pain she’s experienced. Look at her digging into My word to find out what I think about her. Look at My baby girl growing and learning how to trust Me.”

Pause for a moment and think about how far God has brought you. Think about how strong He has made you. See how your faith has grown in this year alone. You have come a long way, my sister, and if I could give you a fist bump, I would. You may not be where you want to be, but thank God you are not where you used to be. Praise God, you are not the woman you used to be.

Challenge: If God rejoices over you and celebrates you, what can you do right now to celebrate your progress?

Prayer: Father, I thank you for speaking to my heart. I receive your love. Thank you that I’m not the same person I used to be. Thank you for the progress you’re helping me to make every day. Help me learn how to celebrate and rejoice over my progress the way you rejoice over me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

~Blog post from Daughters of the King devotional app.

Leave it there.

Mon, 14 Jun 2021 19:08:00 GMT

Would you take something back that you gave someone? Lets' say you gave a close friend something and then a few days later or a month down the road you were like, mmmm never mind, I need that back. I think what I gave you is better for ME.

A bit tacky I'd say.....

So when we lay a burden down at the cross why do we go and pick it back up?

Do you think He can't handle it? Maybe He isn't resolving that burden fast enough?

Girl, once that burden is laid at the foot of the cross -

LEAVE IT THERE. He's got it! Once you fully open your hands and release it to Him, be FREE! Live in the freedom He gives you! Capture every thought and release it to Him.

YOU are loved, just as YOU are! Right where you are, no matter how far away you've wandered.

Go to Jesus today and talk to Him about your burdens. He's a great listener.

Charisma.

Tue, 01 Jun 2021 19:57:00 GMT

You know the type. When they walk into a room, they turn heads. When they talk, people listen. They know how to say what people want to hear. And it's not just the words they say, but how they make people feel in the way they say them.

Now not all charisma is bad. But charisma becomes a problem when it exists in the absence of Christ-like character.

There's a character in the Bible who's name is Absalom (David's son), you can read about him in 2 Samuel. That man had Charisma. Smooth talker. Super personable, etc.

He typically said the right things, but his actions were more than questionable....

So what does this mean for us:

This is why it's so important that we are grounded in God's Word. His Word is truth, and knowing truth makes it much easier to spot lies. As we seek His wisdom, we grow in discernment and in lasting knowledge.

If we aren't grounding ourselves in what the Bible teaches, we won't know truth, friends, and we are much more likely to find ourselves following a false teacher. It's that simple.

It doesn't matter how funny/inspiring/competent he or she is... if they're feeding you falsehood.

It doesn't matter how justified they make you feel in your fleshly desires... if they're elevating their own opinion over what God's Word says.

It doesn't matter how many others are following them... If they're not following Christ.

Just because they say the name of Jesus... doesn't mean they're living for Him.

The Bible warns us that the world is full of people we shouldn't follow.. and because of social media, we have easy access to follow more and more of them.

Friends, let's be leaders who prioritize Christ - not Charisma.

~Written by Michelle Myers from the She Works His Way devotional, volume 2.

Silencing that Screaming Screen

Mon, 17 May 2021 19:06:00 GMT

Tumbling out of bed, I headed to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, hoping it might snap the sleepy out of my brain. I glanced down at my phone next to the coffee maker where I’d plugged it in the night before. I’d begun banishing my phone from the bedroom so it couldn’t tempt me to tap, swipe and scroll instead of falling asleep at a decent hour.

About a dozen or more notifications began their usual morning dance, gliding down from the top of my screen. A few social media followers liked my recent post about my butternut squash soup. There was a news alert from a local television station about an upcoming visit from a well-known celebrity. Five new emails were in my inbox from companies I’d previously purchased from, alerting me to new sales on their products.

This montage of messages screaming at me through the screen threatened to derail my day before it had barely started.

I have an ongoing quandary with my phone. It certainly can be a useful tool —

housing my calendar, grocery list and an online banking app. But often it seems my phone becomes the boss of me. If I am not intentional to keep it in check, it can quickly become a tangent. It beeps, dings and buzzes, tempting me to pick it up once again as I lose precious time that could be spent tackling the tasks of the day.

Ephesians 5:15-17 urges us to “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” To help us extrapolate the instructions God is giving us about managing our time, let’s look at the original Greek meaning of a few key words and phrases.

The Greek word for “walk” is peripateó . More than placing one foot in front of the other, it literally means “to conduct your life properly.” And how are we to walk? Carefully. The deeper Greek meaning of “carefully” in this verse is “accurately, diligently and circumspectly.” That final word isn’t commonly used. It means “to fully investigate all circumstances and possible outcomes.”

We are also instructed to make the best use of our time. This Greek phrase conveys the concept of redeeming from loss by making the most of the present opportunity. We are to be proactive and intentional in filling our time.

That can be difficult when our phone provides an ongoing digital distraction. Checking it too often prevents us from the important tasks we have at work and home. It may even keep us from connecting relationally with someone who might need an encouraging word from us, or keep us from connecting with someone God placed in our path to give us encouragement or wisdom.

If you have the same phone struggle as I do, perhaps it’s time for us to set some boundaries. It may be as simple as leaving the phone in another room overnight or turning it off after a certain hour each day. Or it may require something more drastic like turning off all notifications, or even deleting social media apps and only hopping on those sites when we’re in front of our computer. These actions can help us cut down on distractions and carefully navigate our days by doing what God’s called us to do: making the best use of our time.

Let’s take our days to the Lord in prayer, asking Him to help us choose prudently how we interact with our phones, using them as tools rather than allowing them to morph into tangents. He will enable us to spend our time in a way that honors Him as He teaches us what it means to walk wisely.

Father, help me to redeem the time, discerning how You want me to spend my hours each day. I want my actions to honor You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-17 (ESV).

~Written by Karen Eham with Proverbs 31 Ministries.

BeYOUtiful Image Consulting Blog Post

The Little Black Dress of Faith

The wisdom from above is first of all pure. (James 3:17a, NLT)

Don't try to change it, honor it!

Honoring your body shape.

Have you ever been Redeemed?

Let's start from the beginning....

We Stopped Going House to House for the Holidays. Here's Why.... Written by Lindsey Maestas a favorite Blogger of Lisa's

Then we hit a turning point.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. Our son Sutton was 1 1/2 years old and we rushed home a ridiculous number of times to pick up food and gifts to take to the next house. And then the next house. And then the next.

Jesse decided on our final trip home that night that he pretty much despised the holidays and it made me so sad. He had always loved and looked forward to them when we were dating.

We were stressed out with each other and far from ‘merry.’

And honestly, that day had looked so much different than what I had dreamt of time and time again as I imagined celebrating my son’s first real Christmas.

When we finally came home for the night, it was completely dark. Sutton’s toys were piled up, untouched, in the corner. He didn’t get to open or play with anything that day and he was passed out by the time we got home.

Our house was a disaster because I had rushed to cook and bake everything for each house and didn’t have time to clean before we left.

We also spent an inordinate amount of money on 19 kids, 10 siblings and 3 White Elephant parties.

We were completely exhausted, frazzled and frustrated.

It was in that moment when we both realized that, although we both desperately love our families, we are our own family now. We have to set healthy boundaries in order to invest in and nurture this little family we have created – even during the holidays.

Jesse and I have always clung to this verse in our marriage, but somehow forgot to implement it into the holiday season: “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Gen. 2:24

We are our own family now.

And while it is absolutely crucial for me to teach Sutton that Christmas is about Jesus and loving and serving others, I also don’t want to create strife or forfeit our family principles to people-please or to simply fulfill society’s standard of what Christmas is supposed to look like.

We love being generous and we love giving gifts. It is one of our favorite things to do as a family. I love making all of the holiday food (like our famous cranberry jalapeno dip! )

We also absolutely adore spending time with our families, and we look forward to a time of relaxation with them every single year.

But, you guys, when we spread ourselves so thin, neither we, nor our families, actually get that relaxation. We are so busy and exhausted that they actually get very little of our energy or attention.

Every family is different, and every family has unique boundaries. In our family, we personally still do our best to see everyone because we really do love it.

However, now, we have split the days up. The timespan spent at each home is shorter and we don’t allow guilt to consume us if we can’t make it somewhere.

Sweet friends, I want you to consider this.

Here’s what I’m not saying:

I’m not saying that you should say ‘no’ to everything and everyone. Scripture reminds us that those who are faithful in very little are also faithful with much.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t make small sacrifices to spend time with your husband’s family or that he shouldn’t spend time with yours.

It is important to place your spouse’s needs above your own and to place other people (even extended family) above your own needs as well. Our reward for doing so may not ever come on this earth, but they will be waiting for us in heaven.

I encourage you to love your extended family so well throughout the entire year that the holidays aren’t a question of whether or not your family is important to you, simply because you can’t attend one Thanksgiving dinner.

Here’s the thing: Jesus has given YOU freedom. Even on the holidays.

This year, let us leave behind the obligation and lie that we need to be all things to all people.

Instead, let’s focus on honoring God with our lives while clinging to our own little families during the holiday season.

Slow down. Go to church or make a cup of hot cocoa and enjoy the day inside with your little family. Simply do your best to lo ve and serve those around you without allowing pressure or obligation to consume you.

And most importantly, spread true joy and the love of Jesus with those you come across. It might even be a lot easier this time around because you’ll be rested enough to do so.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone!

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