They are watching us!

I just spent the week at a friend’s house (some work + all fun). Her 2 year old followed me around and copied everything I did, she even wanted matching shoes – so cute right?!

My daughter is 8 years old. You know the age . . . full of attitude and thinks she can hang with her 12 year old brothers and his friends (she is pretty tough). But she also wants to snuggle with her blankie, play with her dolls and loves collecting every piece of trash and making it into a craft. Best of all she still thinks matching clothes with me is cool. It’s such a fun age!

I see her strong, confident self and I wonder, when does it change from "I love who I am" to body shaming and wishing for the body ‘everyone’ else has?

I have a rule that the word F-A-T is not allowed in my home. I grew up with a mom who struggled everyday with her weight, who tried every diet possible and exercised religiously because she felt like she needed to loose weight. I know women struggle with the scale - heck, I am one of them BUT, positive self-talk about our negative body perceptions can help us see ourselves as BeYOUtiful. Not beautiful as the world has set the standard but as BeYOUtiful as God created you to be.

Ladies, your daughters, grand-daughters, sisters, moms and friends are watching . . . . would you talk to your precious great-grandma the way you talk to yourself in the mirror?!


I want my daughter to be confident, to make healthy choices, not to stress about what size she wears, to love her smile and celebrate her cute glasses, to know she is strong and exercise her body, to eat grapes and skittles, to rest or jump on the trampoline . . . For the Mom’s out there I draw the line there . . . I almost peed my pants. Lol.

I want her to LOVE the way she is made "fearfully and wonderfully" {Psalm 139} AND to KNOW it full well!

How to talk to your daughter about her body

Don't talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works. Don't say anything if she's lost weight. Don't say anything if she's gained weight. If you think your daughter's body looks amazing, don't say that. Here are some things you can say instead: "You look so healthy!" is a great one. Or how about, "You're looking so strong." Or "I can see how happy you are -- you're glowing." Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body. Don't comment on other women's bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one. Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself. Don't you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter or talk about your new diet. In fact, don't go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don't say, "I'm not eating carbs right now." Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself. Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed.

Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that's a good thing sometimes. Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you'll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn't absolutely in love with. Prove to your daughter that women don't need men to move their furniture. Teach your daughter how to cook kale. Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter. Pass on your own mom's recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside. Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-zero size body parts. Don't. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.”

~ Sarah Koppelkam

YOU are BeYOUtiful!

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